Have you ever seen that show What Not To Wear? Well , I just watched it for the first time and LOVE it! This year I decided to love my body for the shape and size it is and not spend the whole year beating myself up because I am not a skinny size 4 or 6. Not that there is anything wrong with these sizes. I have lots of friends that are these sizes. Some of them work very hard at maintaining this size and others it's a natural weight. The problem is that I am not them and I beat myself up because I don't look skinny like them...I am starting to hate this word SKINNY. I find that even the woman in this size group have things that they want to change or have areas of their bodies that they want to improve. I think that as women we always need something to work on no matter what size we are we will find something to obsess about.
I know that I do. Even when I get to the size I want, I still think that I look overweight. You have heard of beer googles..I think I have cellulite goggles on constantly. The other day I saw a picture of myself and thought, wow I look skinny....DUH, it is me...I am at an ok weight....I need to change my focus of what is underneath the clothes ; to focusing on wearing clothes that flatter the shape and size I am. FINAL!
In my past blog I wrote that this is the year I am going to focus on being healthy and not on dieting. I already have to eat very carefully with my gluten intolerance and it drives me to insanity trying to cut out all wheat, rye and barley products. This is so hard to do. When I do binge and eat wheat it causes my stomach to bloat. I know what I need to do to keep my stomach flat, but boy is it hard!! I love food it's that plain and simple. So, I have decided to watch what I eat (but not diet) and exercise everyday. My goal is to firm up and stay active for my kids. This sounds pretty simple to do, RIGHT? I need everyone to be shaking their head and saying " Yes, Sherron this is simple and you can do it"...LOL Way to go team!
I used to love to shop, until I recently went and found that I am stuck in no mans land (or no-womans land). Have you ever heard of it before...the place between Forever 21 and Chico's. I am 42 and don't know what looks good on me. I am having a clothing crisis at my house and don't know what to do about it, until recently that is. I decided to take matters into my hands and do some research. I don't have a personal stylist, a $5000 gift card to splurge with or even a shopping buddy at the moment to help me with simple style decisions. So, like any techno-friendly woman of the year 2011 I turned to the internet and started searching for things that I could do to help my "situation". It turns out that I am doing some things right and somethings not. So here is what I have learned and how it's going to help me to feel good, sexy and alive about the clothes that I wear.
That's right ladies, I said sexy. Just because we are over the 40 mark does not mean that we are not sexy anymore. It's all in the eyes of the beholder and my beholder (Cory) tells me that I am sexy. In the movie EAT PRAY LOVE, Julia Roberts friend is upset because she has eaten a ton of pasta and put on some weight. I love Julia's characters response. She says "have you ever stood nude in front of a man and had him tell you to leave?" In most instances the answer is going to be NO! ( I am sorry if you have had a bad experience other than a NO, that is a whole other blog entry) Men do like curves. It's okay to have curves. I tell people all the time that I am curvy. I often say that if I had lived in the early 1700's my body would have been perfect...check out the art work ladies, they were curvy.
Here is my list of things that I found that have improved my appearance and my self esteem about how this body looks:
BRA: If you do not have a great fitting bra then you need to go to your drawer immediately, throw them away and spend the money to buy one GOOD bra...it will change your life. I have struggled with this for a few years. After I had Isabella, "the girls" did not return to the original format....bummer but it happens. I struggled with saggy 'girls'...I said it!! I am going to tell you of a store that will change your life...SOMA INTIMATES. These are the best bra's ever. "THE GIRLS" now sit up, take notice and sometimes I can't even see my feet...yay, it's that good! Just do it, they often have sales and they are worth every penny. I can't wait to go bra shopping now.
SPANKS: I did it, I bought them! I don't wear them all the time but when I do it's because I want to have things tight, smooth and well put together. They work...it's that simple, again. Work with what you have and search after what you need to make it work FOR YOU and your shape and size.
HEELS: Ladies you have to get up there! If you put a pair of heels on they make you look thinner, especially if you buy the jeans with the longer legs that go to the floor. When you walk in, all they see will be legs, legs and legs...there is the sexy coming out! I once walked for hours in my 6 inch high heel shoes. My feet were numb as long as I stayed standing...LOL My husband could not take his eyes off me. That made me feel younger, great and it didn't matter what size I was. Love my heels. But don't get the 6 inch high heels unless you have had some practice. Any size will do, just add some height...it works.
BODY SHAPE: It helped me to find out what shape I was and then I searched what types of clothes looked right on me. I found that somethings I wear I chose correctly and others I chose not quite up to par. Tonight I went and bought the right type of jeans and Cory was amazed at the change. He loved them and it was something that I would have never tried on before until I did the research. My shape is the hour glass, I have big hips and big "girls" to deal with. This makes buying clothes a nightmare. I learned from watching What Not to Wear, that most clothes will need to be altered because they are not made to fit just right. GOOD TO KNOW! My waist is not as defined as I would like it to be, but that will come with exercising and if it doesn't...oh well. This is the year for being happy with what I have to work with.
FOCUS POINTS: This is an interesting thing to think about. Where do you want other peoples eye's to fall on you when you go out in public. At you chest, your waist, your feet? There are actually things that you can do to enhance your look to draw the eyes to your best parts. We all have them. Go to the mirror and find what you have that is great and steer other peoples focus to that area. Jewelry, belts, neck styles and pant legs are all examples of how to "direct" the show. Sounds crazy, but remember I am an over 40 crazy lady with strange attempts at satisfaction.
These are just a few things I have learned. I am not an expert but I am someone that is willing to research, take a chance and make a difference. I might even post some pictures this weekend...MIGHT! Ladies we all come in different sizes and shapes. We are women with beautiful spirits, many talents, shared passions and a desire to change, just remember that some things don't change like they use to and it's okay. Work it, work it, work it....Don't be afraid to change. I believe change is good. I know I needed one and it's already helping me to feel better about this earthly body that I have. Love each of you and just want you to be happy in the skin that you are wearing. ENJOY!