Friday, January 21, 2011

LIFE...Best Friend in the World

Have you ever had the feeling of being so loved by someone that you just could not believe that you were the recipient of such love.  That is how I feel everyday being married to my hubby.

Yesterday just started off rough.  I woke up and the dog had gotten into the trash.  It was every where...but most of it had been licked, eaten, devoured and torn apart on Isabella's pink jacket.  Keep in mind that we were suppose to have snow yesterday and the thought of her not having a heavy coat was going through my mind.  I did what any sensible Mom would do....I picked it up, grumbled, called the dog a few choice names and went to exercise.  I felt much better when I returned.

Most days I get up and try to make sure that I look ok.  You know the, makeup, something other than sweats.  But yesterday was a day that I just wanted to be a blob.  I felt rather plain and boring. So this is the part that made me have my original thought.  When Cory came home he is always attacked by the munchkin, changes his clothes and we eat dinner.  But he never fails to give me a hug, a kiss and on this particular night to say that I looked beautiful and that he loved my hair.  Just plain me!

I am a sap (ask my kids) but this just melted my heart and made me feel so loved and valued.  I have known for a long time that I have a very special companion, friend and the love of my life...but these little things just bring it all home for me.

It really made my day!  I know Valentine's Day is around the corner and our anniversary is coming up but why do I need a "day" to appreciate my hubby when I already do everyday of the year and so today I pick NOW to say that I am married to a fantastic fella.  If you know Cory, you know that he is gentle, funny, charitable and a great Dad....all qualities that I cherish and admire.

 You hear people talk about their soul mates.  I don't know if this exist, but I sure feel that way when we are together.  We have been married for 23 years this year.  Not bad for knowing each for two weeks before we were engaged and married two months later.  That is a whole different story!  It feels like only yesterday that we met.  I love how we have managed to meld into one force and yet remain individuals with our own desires and passions.  We have been asked over the last few years how we have managed to make it work.  This is not an advice blog, nor do I profess to be an expert , or perfect...But, for us there have been things along the way that have helped us to stay happy, in love and best friends.

I find myself responding to this answer with several of the same ideas.  They are: communicate, find things you love to do together and always let the other person be who they can't change another person, no matter how hard you wish or try.  You could say, pick and choose your battles.  Cory and I started communicating about 10 years into our marriage...I am not trying to be funny!  It's true.  Our lives were so busy being married and parents that we were on auto pilot and found ourselves in a weird position.

One day when our kids were 2 and 4 we were at a crossroads with our life...lots going on, too many people to please, too many irons in the fire and we were both at a point of boiling over...we had lost "us" in the mix of having kids, jobs, church and life.

It was a wonderful experience to be able to finally talk, open up and to communicate everything that each of us felt, desired, wanted, hoped for, longed for and more.  We talked for hours and afterwards we never, ever let most of our thoughts, ideas or opportunities go by that we did not share with each other.  We are chatter boxes and often keep each other up at night talking about everything.  This is tough for some people to be completely honest and to be completely open. This take a tremendous amount of faith and trust.  Faith that you will not sound "out there" and trust that the other person will respect and listen to what you are saying.  It worked for us and continues to work.  I love him more and more everyday because he lets me be me, encourages me to find myself and gives me a support system to seek out new opportunities in this life.  I hope that I do the same for him.

You never know when this life is going to be cut short or life happens and you find yourself unable to express yourself to those around you.  I am learning that the people around you need to know that they are loved, appreciated and cared for.  I love my family more than anything.  They bring me joy and happiness (and some challenges too..LOL) but I would not have it any other way.  Life is way to short to be unhappy with the one you profess to love....Find a way to make it as perfect as it can be!  Don't be afraid to try new things, laugh, cry and sometimes be loved beyond is an amazing feeling.

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